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From the Adventures in Advertising files come a series of ads for Kia that are evidently too racy for their cars (that themselves aren’t).

The ads hail from Brazil, where you think they would have an eye for this sort of thing. But Kia, a family-friendly carmaker with a full line of family-friendly toddler schleppers, is distancing itself from these cartoons that depict two things: a safe, innocent fairy tale on the left, and a hotter version on the right that leads into the back page of Oui. The ads are supposed to tout Kia’s dual-zone climate controls, which may require a stretch of the imagination that advertising bloggers possess in spades.

Kia Motors America has made it painstakingly clear (through a press release) that they don’t want or have anything to do with all of this sexy sex business, and that their cars do not represent the sort of sexy sexiness that these highly sexual, sex-laden ads are sexily promoting.

“Kia Motors America (KMA) has become aware of an offensive piece of advertising material that was created by an ad agency in Brazil that KMA has no business relationship with and has never worked with,” reads the release. “This ad was not created in the U.S. by Kia Motors America or any of its marketing partners and does not reflect the opinions or values of KMA or Kia Motors Corporation. The ad is undoubtedly inappropriate, and on behalf of Kia Motors we apologize to those who have been offended by it. We can guarantee this advertisement has never and will never be used in any form in the United States, and our global headquarters in Seoul, South Korea is addressing the issue with the independent Brazilian distributor.”

For Kia, it’s back to hamsters—possibly the least sexy of animals—and the fact that these cartoons would break down into cognitive dissonance against the wholesomeness of Yo Gabba Gabba, a children’s show that does not feature sultry schoolgirls with exposed belly buttons. Yet.

Click the jump to get a peek at the titillating ads. But no touching.

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